Kakuzu, Hidan and IT
by nika0645
Summary: A short one-shot, fully based on dialogue. During one of their numerous trips Kakuzu and Hidan meet an enigmatic IT... Translation from Polish.


_**From translator:**_ This is the translation of _„Kakuzu, Hidan i TO"_ by _Silvath_, which can be found in Polish on this website (_s/5923303/1/Kakuzu-Hidan-i-TO_). She has all copyrights for this story, with the exception of manga "Naruto", which belongs to Masashi Kishimoto.

I'm still very new in translating something from my language into English, so I apologize for any mistakes. Hope that you enjoy it! This is a one-shot, some kind of an experiment to me.

* * *

><p><strong>One-shot: Kakuzu, Hidan and IT<strong>

„How far is it, Kakuzu?"

"Far enough."

"But… like… very far?"

"Yes, Hidan."

"Eh, no. I've had enough. Why are we always slouching around? As if everything couldn't be in one place."

"Eh."

"Stop sighing so dramatically. Hell, my feet are aching. How far is it?"

"I've already told you, Hidan."

"I'm barely moving. Can we stop for a while?"

"No."

"Pf, I knew it will be like that. Oi, what is it?"

"I don't know, I'm not interested. Come on, Hidan. Hidan?"

"Oi, it's a child!"

"Yes. Fascinating. Can we go?"

"I wonder who has left it. It's barely a baby. Look how it's watching us!"

"We're going, Hidan!"

"What, are we going to left it just like that?"

"Yeah. Exactly. Hurry up, there's a long way to go."

"Oi, drop it. It's a small child left alone in the dark forest, where the wild beasts are lurking… everywhere!"

"For example you."

"Very funny. Come on, don't be that way, Kakuzu…"

"Leave it. Maybe someone will come back."

"Who? What kind of ass leaves baby in the middle of the forest completely alone?"

"Simply stop bothering and come here."

"But it will die here…"

"Since when you've become so sensitive? Don't you by chance love killing everybody for your beloved lesser god?"

"Watch your tongue! Anyways, I sacrifice for my lord Jashin only people and, according to my religion's premise, a child isn't a human."

"What a nonsense. Your whole persona is a premise, false premise."

"Kakuzu!"

"Enough talking. Hidan, we're going."

"Eh, okay…"

"Hidan…"

"Yes?"

"Put it away."

"How can you be so cruel?"

"What makes you think you're better with your rituals?"

"Why are you so worked up? And, besides that, it's only a child. Look at this cute face!"

"Put. It. Away. NOW."

"Why is it bothering you so much?! I'm going to carry it."

"As you wish. You're such a dumbass."

"You're even a bigger dumbass. Gugu, gaga…"

"And stop talking to it."

"Why not? Children very like when somebody speaks to them, so get stuffed! We don't like him, small one, do we? Yes. Very good. Look, Kakuzu, it's admitting that I'm right."

"Fascinating."

"I wonder if it's a boy or a girl."

"Hidan…"

"Oh, a girl."

"Retard."

"We have to give her a name. What do you think, Kakuzu?"

"I think that your brain is completely gone."

"Idiot. Oi, did you hear that?"

"Yes. You've called me an idiot."

"Noo. She said 'gluguglu!'"

"Sometimes I get the impression that something very hard had to hit your head in the past."

"Stop joking around. Maybe it was her name?"

"Yes, sure."

"A bit too long… Maybe we'll shorten it to 'Glu'? What do you think about it, Glu? Gluu…"

"You must be off your head."

"You're so prosaic. Look. Glu is happy because of her new name."

"I won't comment it."

"So don't do it. Oh, she stopped smiling. What happened, Glu?"

"Probably she doesn't like watching your face."

"Stop unnerving me, Kakuzu…"

"It started to bawl."

"I hear that, fool."

"Calm it."

"How?"

"Somehow."

"Stop crying, Glu. Don't be afraid because of that ugly man."

"Don't overstep the mark, Hidan. Calm it or just leave in the bushes."

"Would you leave Glu for a certain death?! You know that…?"

"I know that. Hurry up because it's louder and louder."

"Maybe she wants to eat?"

"So give it something to eat."

"What and from where?!"

"It's not my problem. You were the one to insist on taking it with you."

"Eh, okay. Let's think…"

"You know how to think? I'm impressed."

"Can you stop making fun of me, Kakuzu?"

"Sure, but first make it quiet."

"Yes, yes. Wait, hold her."

"What? But… oi!"

"I'm going to search for something to eat. We're in the forest, yes? There have to berries or something like that."

"Only you have to hurry up… What are you staring at?"

"You're very sweet together, ya know?"

"Do you want me to make things hot for you?"

"I'm going… Oh, there's something!"

"It's a deadly nightshade, dumbass. Do you want to poison her?"

"'Her'? Not 'it'?"

"I'm not going to discuss that."

"Oh, I'm so worried because of it… She stopped crying!"

"I see. Sorry, I hear."

"She's observing you."

"I see that too."

"She probably likes you."

"Or she just doesn't like you."

"Ha, ha. Now she's yawning."

"Your blather has lulled her."

"I think that she likes the tone of your voice."

"You don't say?"

"So, now what? We're leaving her in the bushes, eh?"

"Spare me that irony."

"Ooo, you got to like her, too! I can't… hahaha. You know, one day you should make a baby. You'd be a good daddy."

"Continue that, Hidan, and something bad will happen to you."

"Or maybe you already have a few children? I wouldn't be surprised. A bevy of small Kakuzu-chan's, haha."

"If I didn't have to hold her, I would wring your neck."

"Sure, sure. I have to meet them one day…"

"Shut up. Glu has fallen asleep."

"She's cute, isn't she?"

"A bit."

"You like her, huh?"

"Something like that."

"Ha, I knew that. In essence, you're quite a proper man."

"Unlike others."

"Oi, oi, don't overindulge yourself! But for me, she might have been eaten by something right now!"

"Don't fall into self-admiration."

"By the way… what are we going to do with her?"

"We'll give her to somebody in the next town."

"Sure, sure."

"What was that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing. I'm going to miss her. I'm never going to forget that cute picture, how you're going soft because of some child."

"You're such a dumbass."

"You too, Kakuzu. You too."


End file.
